girl ipsa loquitur: Another Drunken Judge & I've Got a DEAL for Ohio Email me!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Another Drunken Judge & I've Got a DEAL for Ohio

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Friends of Girl Ipsa know that I do not drink, smoke "weed", or generally engage in other mind altering activities unless you count reading my corporations cases on Nyquil. Friends also know that I intend to be a judge some day. Maybe even to achieve that lauded level of judicial accomplishment, a seat on a Supreme Court. (I do not say THE Supreme Court since I have not seen my grades yet and I fear the worst) I'll be happy with any Supreme Court, say for instance, Ohio's. As a former Buckeye, born and raised in that RED state, I think I could have a shot (and maybe even do a little BLUE work while I'm there!). If a seat opens up, that is. Hopefully we will have filled
Justice Alice Robie Resnick's seat before I am eligible.

Does this sound like something out of a television show? Supreme Court Justice is pulled over by the police on suspicion of drunk driving and then reminds the officer whose side she's on.
"My God, you know I decide all these cases in your favor. And my golly, look what you're doing to me."


That is some fairly unrealistic dialogue. Who will believe this gritty Law/Cop/Politics (Wednesdays at 9/8 central) show with cheesy dialogue like that?

It's a little know fact that judges are not subject to the laws of gravity and drunk driving (Namely, what ever can go wrong will injure an innocent person instead of the idiot driver). That is why its OK for them to drive drunk, OK for them to request special privileges such as being "let go" and not taking that sobriety test, and why they have no fear of pulling rank on an officer who is just doing his job. Judges have special cars and super powers. Drunk judges never hurt anyone.

Lets imagine for a moment what Justice Resnick would say to the mangled corpse occupant of the oncoming vehicle she's plowed into as a result of driving with a blood alcohol level nearly three times the legal limit?

"My God, you know I decide all these cases in your favor. I lock up drunks all the time. I've saved countless lives in the process. This is not that big a deal. It's just the one dead person. And my golly, look what you're doing to me. I am, after all, a judge."


There's some engaging dialogue.

So, I would like to say that I am surprised, but I'm not. And that is sad. It is a sad commentary on selfishness and self control. I have no respect for the drunk driver. None whatsoever. The risk to others (Mothers and children and people who are loved and needed and will be so sorely missed) is incalculable. And unjustifiable. However, Mrs. Resnick's** subsequent attempt to avoid responsibility for her own choices and actions is that much worse. She holds a position of respect and authority, a position which I envy, and she treats it like so much garbage. How dare she demand respect when she herself has none?

People of Ohio, I've got a deal for you. I will work diligently to meet each and every requirement, to earn your trust and your respect and to undertake the responsibilities of Supreme Court Justicehood with diligence and sobriety. I will begin this very moment and focus on that goal with singular purpose, devoting every spare moment to its accomplishment.

All I ask in return is that you throw that bum OUT.

**I decided that I would no longer respect Alice with the title Justice or Judge. I refrain from calling her "That drunken idiot" out of respect for myself.

1 Comments:

Blogger Micah said...

I'd say that she's pretty much done. If she decides to run again, the footage of her talking to the cop will look great in an attack ad.

Another way that she's "above the law": she got pulled over for DUI in a government car. If your normal government drone did that, they'd be canned, I'm sure.

6:09 PM  

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